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‘We love him just like he was our own child'
Parents travel long and fulfilling road from fostering to adoption
Friday, Nov. 20, 2009
 Click here to enlarge this photo Staff photo by
REID SILVERMAN
Kelly Hewitt of
Lexington Park holds his son, Jamari, 3, in circuit court Tuesday during an adoption ceremony as he and his partner, Derek McClure, await a ruling from Circuit Judge Karen Abrams. Four other children were also officially adopted that morning.
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Tara and Ken Sutherland of Great Mills had their wish come true Tuesday morning as the adoption of Damian, 2, was finalized.
"We wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. He means everything to me," Tara said.
The coupled has fostered six other children over the last few years, all of whom were reunited with their biological parents. Ken Sutherland just retired from 22 years in the Navy, and as they both approach age 40, Tara Sutherland said, they felt adoption was the right thing to do to complete their family.
The mother said that the St. Mary's County Department of Social Services was supportive through the process, including helping with the boy's special needs.
Tuesday morning was adoption day at the St. Mary's County courthouse as lawyers and Circuit Judge Karen Abrams peppered the Sutherlands and three other adoptive families with questions about relationships, houses, health and financial situations.
The parents, and sometimes the children, were brought to tears as they tried to put their love into words.
"He's like my shadow. Everywhere I go he's right there with me," Ken Sutherland said of Damian.
Derek McClure and Kelly Hewitt of Lexington Park provided foster care for Jamari since he was 11 months old. Now 3, Jamari entered the courtroom with his dads Tuesday morning to make his family official.
"He's part of our God-created family. We love him just like he was our own child," McClure said.
In the courtroom a strong showing of family and friends, some as from as far away as North Carolina, gave their support to the couple.
"As a couple, we've always wanted children," McClure said. The two have been domestic partners for more than a decade.
Pam Curtis has five boys of her own but has also provided care for two sisters, Zodie, 10, and Markia, 12, who are relatives.
The girls said that they are happy to be with their adoptive mother but also happy to stay together.
Curtis said it was a natural progression to go through with the adoption.
For Joanne and John Sobola of California, adopting John Jared, 3, was special. They had cared for the boy since he was an infant and have two other adoptive children and others in foster care.
Joanne Sobola offered encouragement to anyone considering fostering or adopting a child: "It's the best. Your world will never be the same."
The state set the bar high this year for St. Mary's County social workers — they aim to have 21 adoptions completed this fiscal year, which ends June 30.
Last fiscal year, the department missed its goal of 11 by just one adoption. Last year's goal was set at about 50 percent of the number of children that have a permanent placement plan; this year the state wants counties to ramp up their efforts and set the goal at about 75 percent.
"If children have severe mental health or behavior problems, it may take awhile to find a family that is appropriate," said Jeanne Schmitt, assistant director for services at the St. Mary's County Department of Social Services. Older children are also hard to place sometimes.
When a child is removed from the care of his or her biological parents, regardless of the reason, the first step is to stabilize the child's life. That is usually done by placing him or her with a foster family.
After that, Schmitt said, the process begins to either work toward reunification with the parents or to find either adoptive parents or, sometimes if the child is older, find an independent living situation, perhaps in a group home or apartment.
There are currently just 35 families registered in St. Mary's County as foster parents.
"It's amazing how many families you do find," said Jennifer Maddox, a foster care case manager. "We would always love to have more adoptive parents."
For many years the number of children in custody of St. Mary's social services hovered between 70 and 80. About three years ago that number spiked and has remained above 100 since; there are currently 108 children in social services custody.
Last fiscal year, the state saw a reduction in the overall number of children in foster care and group homes. There were 770 adoptions finalized in the state last year.
This month, the St. Mary's County Department of Social Services recognized Vickie and Gary Ferko for their aid to children. The Ferkos have been foster parents since 2004 and have fostered more than 60 children — including emergency, overnight, short-term, and long-term placements. They have adopted five children over the years, all with special emotional and/or physical challenges.
Most often a child enters foster care because of substance abuse and/or neglect by the biological parents, Schmitt said.
Such incidents may have gone up recently, she said, but the increase could be from better reporting of abuse by neighbors or family.
"I think the community has become more educated and aware of the harm that can come to children," Schmitt said. "We need that" extra community presence looking out for children, she said.
